Lady Gertrudes’s Meteoric Hunt!

 Dateline 26th May 195???

    The Place-Somewhere in Outer Graustark!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bad guys having a peruse of our finest machinery.

            Good Evening Ladies and Gentlemen and welcome to this evening’s thrilling Garvald Film Studios Production with an exciting adventure of Lady Gertrude Agnes Winklepicker and her gallant members of the Tulips (The Unlady Like Internacional Pornographic Society)whose motto is “We do things men just dream off!”

Ace Kipper heading into town to see the sights.

Graustark’s main airport.

The Meteor in question.

         The said ladies were called in by British Intelligence when one of our erstwhile pilots,Ace Kipper decided to land in the occupied state of Graustark intending to look in the best RAF way for the best 5Star hotel around.To which his erstwhile captors laughed at whilst dragging him,handlebar moustache and all towards the nearest Gulag informing him of its lack of stars and beds.

Holiday Snapshots from Graustark.

            Graustark is a Baltic Germanic state and as you all know has cropped up many a time in the imagination of El Presidente but was usually confined to the era of World War One with a few Freikorps games thrown in for good measure.The country was mainly populated by the fair sex due to most of the male population heading of to war and finding itself on the wrong side of a Vickers machine gun.Not much has been stated about its comings and going’s after that but its fair to say that somewhere along the line it was knocked about a bit during the replay of the First World War and eventually ended up on the wrong side when full time was called.So it finds itself being governed obviously by some benign regime opposed to anything enforced on it by outside influence blah!blah!blah!blah!

Lady Gertrude arrives on her trusty steed complete with Jim the Mutt.

Count Lederhosen delegates.

And the Garrison gather.

              Lady Gertrude,ably assisted by Telegram Samantha, her trusted confidante and her followers were tasked to recover this wonder of modern technology,save the day for Good Old Blighty and save the bullet ridden reputation of our junior service.Tasked with defeating this rabble was the  cruel and sadistic Count Otto Von Lederhosen accompanied by his favourite Leutnantin Heidi Boompsadasi and the local corrupt official Werarmi Krampnuts who in this game was armed with a Sharpened Pen.

The Tulips flower in the meadow.

The truck hits a bump and the garrison ends up temporarily in the road.

Telegram Sam ventures forth..

        The stage was set for a game of epic proportions or something along these lines so it was straight in with Lady Gertrude charging on on her souped up Triumph, another bastion of British engineering complete with her trusty mutt Jim by her side.The smile was knocked off their faces with the sudden arrival of a blast which knocked not so lucky Jim oot the sidecar fleas and all!

“Follow me girls!”

Trying to stop the truck.

“Everybody Oot!”

        On  hearing off the arrival of the Imperialistic Tulips the local garrison swung into action and loaded onto the nearest form of transport which turned out to be a bright yellow truck,who needs camouflage in Graustark, and headed towards the airfield in order to protect their latest gains.The truck trundled on towards the airfield avoiding fire from the Tulip lackeys and their puny guns.They had jumped onto the lorry that quick that they had left behind the show’s two costars who had to leg it behind them promising retribution to their mindless minions.Meanwhile the count decided that he would prefer an evening of hunting the Tulip prey rather than taking charge of the objective believing his underlings would take care of business.

Jim the Mutt charges in.

Barbuda Babs goes down.

Telegram Sam seizes the initiative.

             Lady Gertrude after first getting her precious mutt back onto the motorcycle decided to dump the bike and head on foot towards the bridge whilst the dog decided with a mind of its own to head for the canal and indulge in a swim.So much for the expensive dog obedience classes.The rest of the Tulips were slowly making their way over the hedges and through the fields towards the airfield unaware that they were being stalked by the Count. The garrison commander decided that his squad would get off the truck and defend the bridge whilst he continued on to the plane and protect it with his life or something like that. The soldiers climbed out of the truck and started firing at any Tulip which reared its head which came in the form of Telegram Sam who had made her way towards the bridge hoping to provide a one woman show but instead took a bullet wound for her troubles.The two evil costars were ambling towards the bridge when they were pounced upon by Lady Gertrude who was hoping to throw the both of them into the canal but alas all she could manage was knock Heidi  down leaving Krampnuts the chance to take a swipe at the Lady using his Sharpened Pen which proved to be useless as well as inkless.

And hits him in the chuckles-painful!

Count Lederhosen picking off the Tulips.

Lady Gertrude unsuccessfully trying to put Heidi and Krampnuts into the canal.

         The remainder of the Tulips finally arrived at the crossroads just in time to be shot at by the Count. The nearest target unlucky for her was Barbuda Babs who went down like a sack of Tatties causin the rest of the gang to dive for cover.To add insult to injury Linton Lennie the ex super spy had inherited due to the use of the random cards Telegram Sam’s wound.Not going well for the Tulips.They returned fire but the Count just laughed their pathetic attempts off.Meanwile Jim the Mutt had arrived at the other side of the canal and charged towards the plane.What he was going to do when he got there I haven’t a clue.When he reached the plane he waited for any enemy attempt to purloin the secrets.Lo and behold the yellow truck arrived and the high and mighty troop commander climbed down.Jim was off and in true doggy style heading towards the unwary commander,tongue and snot swaying in the wind.The commander spotted the mutt at the last minute and pistol whipped the poor canine stunning it.Wait till the Graustark S.P.CA. hear about this.

Krampnuts crashes into the canal.

Telegram Sam turns on Heidi!

   On seeing the turmoil her favourite mutt was going through Lady Gertrude redoubled her efforts and captured Heidi but Heidi managed to escape and headed towards Telegram Sam who had finally made it to the bridge doing away with two guards in the process and getting down to business with the third one. The remainder of the Tulips were exchanging shots with the Count but not coming out of it very well as first Whittingham Winnie went down in a hail of bullets closely followed by Florence of Gifford who succumbed leaving Linton Lennie to cover the Lady and her actions.

Finally Jim sinks the fangs in.

Heidi goes down but I’m sure they’ll kiss and make up.

        Meanwhile Jim the Mutt had recovered from his pistol whipping and was intent on some revenge by sinking his teeth into the squad commander .Whilst this duel was taking place another was happening on the bridge as Telegram Sam was having a bit girl on girl with Heidi.This gave an opportunity for Lady Gertrude to sprint towards the plane whilst everybody else was running interference.Count Lederhosen had finally realised Gertrude’s plan and forsaking  all other easy targets headed towards his main adversary.This gave Linton Len the opportunity to dispose of Krampnuts and with one shot sent Krampnuts spinning into the canal never to be seen again.Well at least till next weeks episode.

Finally the nail drops in Lederhosen’s coffin.

        The last chapter of the episode arrived and with it came a double sided victory for the Tulips with Jim finally sinking his fangs into the commander’s neck and Telegram Sam finally connecting with Heidi compliments of a roundhouse kick.Lady Gertrude had finally made it to the Meteor and was last seen clambering on it’s wing.Count Lederhosen with a final fusillade of missed gun shots,fell to his knees cursing Lady Gertrude and bemoaning his future from his superiors.

Does she or doesn’t she-Tune in whenever,

              Did Lady Gertrude escape with the Meteor,will Jim stop munching on the commander and will Telegram Sam make up with Heidi and walk hand in hand into the sunset.Who knows?Who cares?

              A great game played in the usual non serious and non sense all way which is how I love my games.Silly stories with plenty of toys!

             See You All When I See You.

                This has been a Garvald Film Studios Production.