Titillating Trailer Trash

Wednesday 4th July

"Don't blink!"

                                       "Tonight's exciting episode contains trailer trash,deadly Dobermans,titillating g-strings,man eating Yorkshire terriers,weeping angels,flashy cars and plenty of girl on girl!"

Down at he docks

with ships abound

and Bob Hope still swinging his golf club.

                           This evening's Garvald Film Studio production found us with a dose of Americana fitting to celebrate Independence Day or as we Brits call it Treason Day.
                                                     Colin Jack had put together some scenery from his large collection to give us the sight of a trailer park with approaches containing a gas station and a diner all situated on a dockside brimming with fancy cars and retro lorries and a lot of politically incorrect figures.Thank f**k Donald wasn't there.

24hr diner.

Local trailer park.

Stopping for gas.

                                                                    Dave O'Brien was given the role of tonight's villian but I suppose that depends on what side of the track you were born on.The scenario was basically to clear the trailer park of all the low life and let the developers move in,I suppose that could be any day of the week in East Lothian.

Pimp mobiles.

The view from Garvald Peak.

                                  Colin took the part of the local police who were tasked like myself with clearing the baddies although my lads were more militia working for the developers.The rules to be used were Necromunda which we were all accustomed to but we still had to occasionally peruse them.

My gallant lads.

"Fill her up!"

                                         As always in these games the "interlopers"charged onto the board and for the first turn everything was very quiet-maybe the didn't know we were coming-fat chance!Dave being his usual nasty self had placed figures in ambush right on our arrival points so therefore from the second turn Dave's ambushers opened up on us from the cover of petrol tankers(funny cover) and a noodle shack which sent our lads straight away into discord especially as apart from my leader all my lads were rookies.Immediately my lads started to take fire from the rear in typical O'Brien fashion causing casualties straight away and making the rest of my lads head for cover.Colin's group were also despicably ambushed by the local lowlife and only returned fire in self defence which basically was swatting at flies.Colin immediately sent his dog into the tanker to grapple with the lowlife skulking in the lorry cab(and Donald wasn't even there,his reputation is growing even to America).

The first of many ambushes.

Hightower moves in.

And gets to grip.

                                                     

But needs some K9 support.

The dog attacked the orange vested criminal and managed to put him down but the thug just adjusted his orange vest and cruelly dispatched the dog and this wouldn't be the last of animal despatches to happen this evening.Dave's orange vested villian next turned his attention to one of Colin's poor rookies and soon he went the same way as the police dog.

Noodled in the back.

                                             

Running for cover.

  Meanwhile on my side of the harbour things were not going  well with one of my rookies being savagely shot in the back whilst going about his lawful duties and my leader being forced to hide behind some handy petrol pumps.Once again not the best type of cover.

My Damien Lewis lookalike.How I think he would have looked as James Bond.

Hugging the scenery.

                                                        Two of my rookies soon ran out of ammunition forcing them both to take cover.This wasn't enough as one of Dave's lowlife ran in and took two of my lads out of the game.Revenge would come.Just as my lads finally reached cover one of Dave's harem opened up from the safety of yet another petrol tanker causing my leader to go to ground again.

Typical woman.

Dealing with the problem.

                                             

Boo Hiss!

  Meanwhile Colin had finally done away with the snivelling crook cowering in the lorry cab with the aid of Hightower,his leader.Just as Colin's lads were beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel,a dirty great big unfed Doberman came hurtling out from a parked car.How he got the door open I don't know but he came hurtling towards one of Colin's rookies avoiding sniper fire from one of Colin's other guys and true to form the copper was mince.Colin exacted revenge by first shooting it and then charging into it with his blonde female rookie who was to prove to be Colin's best character of the evening.

Daunting Doberman.

about to be picked off.

                                                                  My leader finally got to grips with the female hiding in the lorry cab and and put her down just enough for my rookie to rush in and send her packing.This drew fire from the hoods standing behind us.My leader promptly despatched one of them and my remaining armed rookie fired at the other one,wounding him in the process allowing my other rookie to charge into the wounded gang member who couldn't put up a fight and promptly had the s**t kicked out of him.REVENGE!

Dealing with the chica.

before dealing with the two backshooters

and finishing them off.

                                                  Colin's lads and lasses were just catching their breath when One of Dave's hoodlums appeared out of what one can only call a pimp mobile albeit French and proceeded to fire his shotgun at all in sundry causing Colin's guys and gals to dive for cover.Just to add fuel to the fire,Colin also attracted fire from the trailer.Colin's sniper was having a miss the barn door evening leaving the blonde rookie to deal with everything else as Hightower was weakening under all the fire he was taking.Is wasn't long before he went down like the rest of the squad leaving the blonde and the ineffectual sniper as Colin's forlorn hope.

Queen of all she surveys-for the moment.

Hightower attempts to cross the bridge.

Pimp my ride.

                                                       My lads on the other side soon found themselves with room to maneuver and headed for the bridge that would take them in to the den of inequity mainly the trailer park.No sooner had my remaining lads  crossed the barricade when the gang's leader came rushing headlong towards on of my rookies but the rookie took it in his stride and done away with this evil intruder

Heading for the barricade.

Dealing with a maddened bull.

"Booyah!"

                        Colin's blonde had also finally made it over the river and proceeded to draw fire from hidden gang members which would have been okay but her gun had ran out of ammunition.This didn't stop her doing away with one of the ambushing females with a bit girl on girl that Dave had hidden all over the board.Even when she was shot at she managed to dodge all the bullets.

Blonde meets up with Yellow dress.

Cadi Chica.

Blondie hits the dust.

                                       Meanwhile on my side of the river embarrassment was about to descend on me tenfold when one of my men was attacked by one Lucifer's hounds which came in the form of a Yorkshire Terrier.This Terrier went for the jugular and promptly killed my innocent lad.Obviously this beast had been trained well and with its ribbon blowing in the wind set about its dastardly duty.

"What the F**k!"

Despatched by the hound from hell-ribbons and all.

Taking no chances.

                               Revenge was exacted by my remaning rookie as he took no chances and despatched this hound from hell with gunfire.

Blondie now takes on pink g-string.

My last man standing.

                                                   Full time was rapidly approaching and as it looked as though we were not going to clear the trailer park we called it a day leaving Dave to cackle at his evil victory.
                                                A great game played to our usual standards of accusations of card rigging and cruelty to animals.
                 
                                       Scenery,scenario and most of the toys were provided by Colin and I kitted out my own squad who once again didn't do well in their first game.
                                               Also many thanks to Colin for providing us with another repast.
                                                        See You All When I See You.