Zuge und Boote und Flugzeuge!( That’s Trains and Boats and Planes for you non Graustarkian speakers.)

 Dateline 25 September 1938ish!

Place-Somewhere in the South Seas!

Dorcas’s more famous cousin.

      Tonight’s Garvald Film Studios Monday night special found us in the South Seas where the further escapades of our gallant heroine Dorcas Knight saw her trying to outdo the dastardly attempts of  Doktor Fluffembunny to inflict his brand of terror on the unsuspecting world.This time it was to throw the seeds of destruction into the island’s volcano Mount Papa-Oom-Mow-Mow which came in the form of various unexciting artefacts.These items were located at various points of the island mainly the airport,the docks and on a train.Yes I know South Seas islands don’t have railways but what the heck.

The SS Cirrhosis of the River docks.

Dorcas Knight and her followers.

The semi evil Doktor Fluffenbunny and his retinue.

   Our brave heroine was already on the island searching for souvenirs when she got the call that Doctor Fluffembunny was also on the island looking for something a bit more serious than trinkets mainly the ingredients he needed to destroy the island and all surrounding islets.Blah Blah Blah!Dorcas dropped the beads she was pondering over and called for her trusty companions mainly Tabby Gun-Powder and Yuri Diculous who were just watching the world go by albeit with a rum in their hands.Out of the corner of her eye she saw Fluffembunny’s loyal lieutenant (sergeant actually)heading for the tramp steamer SS Cirrhosis of the River that had just arrived hoping to steal the artefact before  Dorcas  could react.

The air-conditioned airport .

Percy’s arrival mode.

Another sleepy day in Mow-Mow.

         Meanwhile on the other side of the island her trusty sidekick Percy Pencildik had just arrived off the clipper and was just checking through customs with his trusty side kicks Woods and Pussers when he learned through the jungle drums (literally)that Doktor  Fluffembunny was on the island and the bounder was up to no good.He immediately got into his stride and rushed through the building hoping to get to grips with this Teutonic ne’er do well,do away with the cad and indulge in his first Bombay gin of the day.Well the sun was over the yardarm somewhere in the world.So he checked his twin revolvers and headed for the front door.

A suspicious Graustarkian coach at the airport.

Heading to the market.

Mount Papa-Oom-Mow-Mow.

          Doktor Fluffembunny was not hanging around for idle chit chat and with two of his minions Flotsam and Jetsam in tow headed for the train which was the hiding place for another artefact.He was stopped in his tracks by the utterances of a security guard who was obviously hoping to impress his colleague with his masterly voice.This utterance brought out the wrath in Herr Doktor who replied with the uncoiling of his bullwhip and the following whiplash ended with it coiling around the smart assed security guard.Game ,set and match to the Doktor. The guards pitiful companion just whimpered and stated that he hadn’t seen a thing.The only problem the Doktor was facing were the pair of local guardian natives who were taking potshots at them from a nearby cliff.Down went one of Fluffembunny’s goons.Rage engulfed Fluffembunny at the sight of his minion Flotsam being cut down in the prime of his short evil career.This was soon leveled up by the evil Doktor shooting at the assailants with his antique pistol whilst moving quickly towards the airport building and the second artefact and doing away with his minion’s assassin.

Lizard men on the prowl.

Doktor Fluffenbunny gets out the coach.

Local taxi.

     Meanwhile Dorcas  and her companions had dived behind the cover of nearby parked cars and were trading shots with the sarge and his entourage which had been supplemented by a member of the ship’s crew Tugboat Annie,who had decided that the grass was darker on the other side.How she came to that conclusion in the docks we’ll never know. Dorcas directed her cohorts to concentrate on sarge who was trying to abscond with the loot.This succeeded with the sarge recoiling from his first wound.Actually both El Presidente and myself then realised that the wrong figure was being shot at so a quick figure substitution was made and the Teutonic bad guy had morphed into a Frenchman with a pistol.C’est la Vie!It also meant I was down one lizard headed bad guy.The sarge decided enough was enough and sprinted down the docks towards the volcano hurdling one of the bulkheads in the process.This caused Dorcas and her companions to stand away from the parked cars immediately drawing fire from sarge’s lackeys.This caused one of her companions go down in a hail of lead.Dorcas and her remaining companion Tabby Gun-Powder exacted revenge by taking out the two hoodlums on the pier.Sarge was hurtling down the street when Dorcas’s trusty companion Tabby nonchalantly walked into the street and shot him in the back.And  she was supposed to be a good guy.

“I told you there was a train.”

One of the baddies before he gets a sex change.

Swapping lead.

    Meanwhile back at the airport Percy Pencildik, the trusty companion after first putting down his duty free proceeded to take possession of the last artefact which for some reason had been placed on the luggage carousel.He drew his trusty companions to him and headed straight for the front door,(as you do)and were met by the attentions of Fraulein Schwarzerpfeffer who had just made her way there from the local street market looking to pick out a punnet of black cherries for her infamous Schwarzwalder Torte.Gun and bow fire were traded and alas poor Fraulein Schwarzerpfeffer and her sidekick went down in a not so blaze of glory.Bang goes the cake.Their actions were not so fruitless for in the process of the gunfight the two companions Woods and Pussers bit the dust.This left the igniting of the the volcano to Doktor Fluffembunny and this pickle he looked on with relish.

Flotsam goes down in the first!

Sarge morphs into Sarge but this time with a French accent.

Two blurred natives.

       Meanwhile the numbers were dwindling near the docks with Tabby the companion after first picking up the downed artefact found herself gunned down by Tugboat Annie who herself proceeded around the side of a building hoping to do away with our erstwhile star.No sooner had she arrived in a dark alley at the back of the building she was greeted by the sound of a car ignition being turned.Dorcas had thrown away all thoughts of stealing the artefact that had been unceremoniously dumped by the side of the road and was driving towards the airport building in the hope of saving her trusty companion from a fusillade of bullets.Her companion had actually dived onto the carousel to escape the bullets of Doktor Fluffembunny.

Herr Doktor taking care of business.

Percy making progress.

Dorcas and Tabby trying to stop Sarge.

    The stage was set for one last shootout when El Presidente drew a random event card which declared the game was over at the end of that turn.Realising this Dorcas took a pot shot at the Doktor whilst driving causing him to slump onto the cars fender but it was only a flesh wound and not a Monty Python one so we were left with the sight of the two stars having a South Sea standoff with her trusty companion rushing to her aid tripping over empty bottles in the process.

Tabby goes down.

So does the Fraulein.

Dorcas races ahead at 30mph.

        Will Doktor Fluffembunny finally achieve something dastardly, will Dorcas  take these driving lessons she definitely needs and  will her trusty sidekick get done for that extra bottle of Bombay?Who knows!Who cares!

Percy dives through the carousel.

Tugboat Annie about to try for a fruitless chase.

Doktor Fluffenbunny takes the hit but he’s still standing.

           A great game played out with a lot of poetic license-Trains in the South Seas indeed.This was our first run through of the new 7TV rules with a few insertions from previous versions I.e event cards.

    See You All When I See You.

       This has been a Garvald Film Studios Production.

The September Winter War

 Date-Winter 1939

Place-Some Bitterly Cold Finnish Outpost.

 Out to sunny Garvald this evening wondering what game El Presidente had dreamed up and since last week some hints were dropped about the inclusion possibly of reindeer I thought we were in for some unusual game along the lines of Man in the High Castle.Nope,it was actually a pretty straightforward Bolt Action game involving Finns and Soviets.

The Object of Soviet Desires.

Finnish Armour.

‘I told you that there would be reindeer!’

Looking for Soviets.

                            Tonight’s game was basically a lot of Soviets ganging up on a small Finnish army contingent and basically played out like the actual campaign with only the inclusion of some extra armour helping the Soviets to a very narrow victory.Herr O’Brien took charge of the Finns whilst Comrade Gilchristi commanded the Soviets with myself and El Presidente being his underlings.Comrade Gilchristi decided on a long skirmish line advance with myself being placed on the right flank next to some woods to which I thought sounded like an easy advance to contact.What a surprise I had when thinking that the woods would be just full of reindeer only to find it was also full of people who took offence to me invading their territory.

Gallant defenders.

T28-it looks big.

Hidden mortar team.

Getting ready for action.

              The first thing our gallant force received was an artillery barrage which landed plum in front of El Presidente’s command which as well as inflicting pain on his men also gave some of my command a bloody nose.A wheen of units incurred pins with El Presidente’s command unit evaporating which was a bit of a bummer as our units weren’t very good. The only plus side for me was the evaporated unit was transferred to my beleaguered command.

Reinforcements arrive.

Surging forward.

An awful lot of Finns in the wood.

        I decided to move my infantry through the woods and hit Herr O’Brien on the flank.What could be more difficult for as soon as my lads trudged their way into the woods they were pounced on by some hidden Finnish Jaegers who proceeded to charge into my poor beleaguered infantry decimating the whole squad immediately albeit incurring a fair few casualties themselves which actually proved to Herr O’Brien to be not the best option for if he had just stood back and hit me with a hail of lead it would have meant he wouldn’t have lost any of his precious command.

Herr O’Brien’s Jaegers charge in.

Treading warily.

The artillery bites.

Comrade Gilchristi lays out the massive skirmish line.

   The only good thing that was coming from El Presidente’s severe artillery kicking and my mauling  was that Comrade Gilchristi’s forces could advance unmolested and make themselves out to be Heroes of the Soviet Union.He would soon be cut down to size for as soon as he came into Finnish range he was peppered from all sides and with some telling gunfire.

Finns ruling the woods.

The armour outpacing the infantry.

Herr O’Brien’s Jaegers after the first skirmish.

      My next incursion from the nearby woods came in the form of an attack by a Finnish anti tank team armed with grenades and a block of wood.They actually didn’t do any real damage apart from incurring pins on my stalled tank but they kept on attacking this unfortunate tank meaning the pins count kept on rising and I couldn’t even retreat to tend to my wounds.To add insult to injury I couldn’t even fire my machine gun as visibility was limited in the woods. The next appearance in the wood was a Finnish ski squad who having learnt their lesson from their colleagues incurred wounded and shot my second squad down in their prime.One didn’t have a lot left mainly a stalled tank and a machine gun gun which couldn’t see anything.What could be worse?That came in the form of a Finnish sniper team who proceeded to pick out all the valued targets from both El Presidente’s forces and my own diminishing force.

Hidden sniper team.

           My salvation came in the form of a Soviet T28 tank festooned with machine guns and a small gun which was to help prove the difference between the two sides as the Finns didn’t have a lot of armour.The only problem was that it didn’t move very fast and it had to pass the very annoying anti tank team who changed tack from the small tank to try and hinder the better tank(slightly better)with their planks of wood.This they did to start but once it got going it left them behind incurring a casualty on the squad for their troubles.This actually gave space for my smaller T26 to lose all it’s pins and get back into the fray.

‘Booyah!(in Russian).

       Comrade Gilchristi’s forces were nearing the Finns and were met by a hail of lead stopping them in their tracks.El Presidente helped our comrade by doing away with one of the Finnish tanks which helped Comrade Gilchristi but not his poor infantry who were being done away with by the accurate Finnish gunfire.It looked like the saviours of the day was going to be our armour. The appearance of the second Finnish tank found it being hit by tankfire setting it on fire but this was soon extinguished by the gallant crew giving it another chance to stop the invaders.

Here comes the remainder of the Finnish armour.

Drone’s eye view of the woods.

      Herr O’Brien decided to throw in his last piece of armour into the battle to try and stall the Soviet armour but this was met by the attraction of gunfire from all Soviet tanks who were now motoring well.Comrade Gilchristi hit the tank bringing it too a halt with El Presidente providing the Coup de Grace with a telling shot to set the poor unfortunate Finnish tank on fire with its crew bailing out and diving for cover.This meant my tank could now engage some dug in defenders which it did with first my machine guns incurring some casualties with the rest of the squad being decimated by the tank’s main gun. The end was in sight-at last!

The second tank percolates.

El Presidente’s infantry being hammered.

   The game was coming to an end with the Soviet armour now being untouchable even although their wasn’t a lot of infantry left.Herr O’Brien was still causing damage from his forces who were rooted in the wood but they were now bypassed by the armour who had now moved into open ground.To add insult to Herr O’Brien’s injury,El Presidente’s mortar had finally hit something ding away with a few casualties. I think it would have been time for the Finnish forces to retire to the rear and take up other defensive positions off the board.

Heading for victory.

     A great game and it had the added bonus of being able to play a full game without having to be pleasantly disrupted by a visit to the local hostelry.On that note my thanks to El Presidente and the Duchess of Garvald for putting on an excellent repast.All figures vehicles and scenery were provided by a joint effort from El Presidente and Comrade Gilchristi.

        See You All When I See You.

     This has been a Garvald Film Studios Production.