Mort sur La Garvaldian Nil.

 Wednesday 26th June.

Place-Back in the Garvaldian Desert.

            Back oot to sunny Garvald for a second instalment of Silver Bayonet in the desert with the French looking for an easy second victory against the local rabble. I mean last week’s game was remembered for the lack of monster appearances so what would change this week.One was yet again to be proved wrong.

The scene is set.

Complete with two Jock the Crocs.

          The companys were the same as last week with one exception -a new French spiritual investigator had replaced last week’s character.At least this one had an umbrella just perfect for the desert heat.The game kicked off this week with the locals finding the objective cards more within their reach with three cards being picked up by the locals before my lieutenant could even utter “Zut alors!”One of them even revealed an entrance to an exit which help El Presidente’s rabble escape.

The local partygoers.

Wot the f***!(in French)

My new spiritual investigator posing for the camera.

       My lads slowly made their way towards their objectives keeping well into the shadows.What could possibly go wrong.Oh by the way I forgot to mention that the scenario took place on the banks of the River Nile-a crocodile infested River Nile.My lieutenant and one of his followers were soon confronted by a slithering crocodile which looked like it hadn’t eaten for a while.It headed straight for the legs of the officer .Luckily it had left its teeth in a jar on its bedside table because its lunging attack saw it biting at fresh Egyptian air with my officer managing to break free and put some space between them giving the other company man time for a well placed shot wounding it severely.The officer gladly gave the beast the final coup de grace with a well aimed pistol shot.The officer decided he would be back later to reward himself with the ingredients for a nice pair of crocodile shoes.

“Did you see me in Peter Pan?”

                                                                                   

Dealt with rather quickly though.

The bikini clad possessed demon appears.

        The other two members of this small group headed round the corner to be confronted by the appearance of a marauding skeleton that El Presidente had concocted from one of his turned cards.These gents were going to be a pain in the ass to kill as their defence was good as the bullets went through them-literally.Another skeleton appeared in the middle of the table right in the middle of three of El Presidente’s minions -time for him to be introduced to the skeleton.El Presidente’s men worked together and done away with the skeleton very rapidly.I don’t think it was going to be a good night for the French.

This is what happens when you fire a blunderbuss at a crocodile.

“Cooee!”

“Investigate this!”

      My spiritual investigator was in touching distance of an objective card when he was confronted by a possessed demon which came in the form of a sword waving bikini clad demon(welcome to an El Presidente game)and before he could draw a pistol she was on him  swords swinging everywhere.He parried her attacks pushing her back just enough for the sapper to rush in and cleave her with his pioneer axe.Another demon gone but still a s******d to go.The difference in this evening’s game was that when a objective card was revealed a monster of some sort wasn’t too far behind.

Yet another skeleton appears.

But wasn’t even given time to blink.

And another.

     Another card was turned over near a palm tree outcrop and yet again another monster was revealed this time coming in the form of another skeleton.This skeleton was actually dispatched by the finder of the token who was actually himself on death’s door.It definitely was going El Presidente’s way this evening. My lieutenant turned over an objective card and  lo and behold another monster was revealed coming this time in the form of a mummy.El Presidente revealed that the mummy could only be killed by fire which was great as my officer was armed with silver bullets.Seemingly there are not a lot of werewolves in Egypt.

They just keep on coming.

Encore la Mort.

Whereas another skeleton takes a lucky hit.

       My plan was to make a tactical retreat but I was hindered by the appearances of two more “monsters “both of whom turned out to be swarms of beetles which were going to be even harder to kill as shooting them wasn’t going to dent them one bit. The only saving grace for me was when one of my copains discovered a load of salt which would help in the destruction of one of the beetle hordes.On the other side of the table the beetles had come into contact with one of my infantrymen pushing him back.Seeing this opportunity my sapper dived into the scrap armed with his cleaver but this time wasn’t so lucky as the beetles devoured him axe et al.My investigator not realising what was going on behind him decided to wade into the enemy all guns blazing but to no avail.His monster hunting days were over-well at least till next week.

Beetles this time.

Et encore!

Hundreds of them.

       My officer was also not doing to well on the other side and although El Presidente did state that he would allow the officer to have oil,rags and fire ,he still didn’t have enough time to light a torch before the mummy was on him.Game Over!The remainder of his company headed for the hills.

The sapper charges in.

And comes off second best.

Hand to bandaged hand.

       Another great game with more understanding to the fore especially with the monsters.The deciding game will be played in a fortnight.This time I’ll remember to pack some fire instead of silver bullets.

And he’s down.

Ditto.

        Scenario,scenery and the majority of the figures provided by El Presidente with the newly painted skeletons provided by myself.Seemingly the next game will see the introduction of Werejackals-whatever!

See You All When I See You.

    This has been a Garvald Film Studios Production.

“Midnight at the Oasis,Send your zombie camel to bed!”

Date- Wednesday 20th June.

Place -Back in Sunny Garvald.

     Welcome back to the show that never ends.

     Our hiatus from gaming came to an end with a foray into the world of The Silver Bayonet,a set of rules that El Presidente had laid his hands on an was eager to try out.An initial run had been tested the week before with Oor Andrew as the guinea pig and I’m led to believe went down well. I had seen them loitering about and thought this was good as any a time to indulge not expecting anything to develop.Wrong!-before we even had our pizza break I had ordered the rules. I must admit though the game does have a resemblance to In Her Majesty’s Name but set in Napoleonic times which did intrigue me a bit.

Three Tourist Postcards 

              I had seen that El Presidente had been painting Canadian figures for the game and therefore expected myself to be battling in the frozen north of Canada but alas no,the game was set in Egypt with of all people the French getting down and dirty with local inhabitants.

Skulking Abound.

Le Galant Francaise!”

    As I said the game was a tester for us to get used to the rules so when we kicked off we tried to use aspects of the game to understand the gameplay from shooting,hand to hand and the random event activations.Therefore the game kicked off in the usual manner with both sides heading for the cards that had been placed around the table,shooting at each other whilst we made our merry way.

Can’t see the card for the smoke.

Sheik Mahand shakes it loose.

           My French company(unusual choice for myself)consisted of an officer backed up buy a civy monster Hunter of sorts,a sapper and various infantryman.El Presidente’s company consisted of Sheik Mahand and various nefarious characters.

Honest,the sapper is there somewhere.

Avenging the fallen comrade.

    One of the vagaries of the rules is that the player with the initiative can only move half his company then the other player moves all of his company before the first player gets to move the rest of his company.Unusual but it does make for a more thinking game.So my French Lieutenant and no it wasn’t Jeremy Irons,headed for the first card to find it gave me an extra dice with which could produce extra monsters.Talking of monsters because we had just started out on this adventure we neglected to add in the random monsters to start therefore the initial stages of the game saw us just heading for treasure cards and shooting

Hiding in the well.

Still no sign of the sapper.

      Casualties were being incurred on both side with two of my minions biting the desert dust quickly taking two of the enemy with them though.The gameplay was looking easy until we remembered about the random monsters.As soon as we instigated this event we were confronted by a giant scorpion which came in the form of a funny looking big cat as El Presidente didn’t have any scorpions.Another thing to be added to next week’s shopping list.This immediately headed for Sheik Mahand’s right hand man who had ensconced himself in a well as you do.This gave my officer a chance to peruse some cards.My sapper had broken from the pack and headed for another card but started taken fire from a blunderbuss armed bad guy and taking a few hits into the bargain.My grenadier rush to his aid but really didn’t dissuade the blunderbuss much as very soon my sapper uttered “Sacre Bleau” and bit the desert dust.

There he is!Mort!

Quelle Surprise!A feline scorpion.

        My relic hunter unearthed another card but nothing of note.He then started taking fire from a half hidden blagard intent on doing away with the hunter. The Hunter tried to return fire but was out of range so he hid behind a palm tree instead.

“Out of my way!”

Thirty seconds earlier.

Meanwhile after a fair chase the big cat done away with Mahand’s man.I did whoop for joy but I think the cat must have heard me because immediately he began to chase my lieutenant.

A”zombie”camel attacks.

Time to vamoose.

      Now we added the monster roll and lo and behold monsters arrived-Zombie camels!Whit!(came the reply)do we have any?”Nope”came the reply “these’ll have to do.”So we had the sight of fully laden camels doubling as zombie camels attacking El Presidente’s minions.Game over I’m afraid.

Keeping a safe distance.

      Not a bad game which I would imagine will be better this week with more comprehension of the rules but alas no zombie camels.All figs,scenery and scenario provided by El Presidente.

      See you all when I see you.

The Case of the Non Disappearing Plot Points.

 Dateline 10th April 198odd.

 Place Dunsapie Town(not far from the Garvald Film Studios)

Junkers W34 forerunner of Tante Ju.

More groovy planes.

Downtown Dunsapie.

Dunsapie Docklands.

             Oot tae sunny Garvald for a rip roaring delve into the realms of 7TV involving British Bobbies,Hispanic gangs,Blade Runner participants and our heroine Gertrude Agnes Winklepicker last seen flying a Gloster Meteor out of the renegade state of Graustark.Once again welcome to the world of El Presidente.

Waiting on a ride.

That film is showing everywhere.

Things to come.

The source of my investigation.

     On arrival I found the table had been set up to the usual high standards of El Presidente with a town supplemented by a harbour and the landing spot for a seaplane that El Presidente had picked up and was itching to get into a game.It was to provide one of the plot points with which  Oor Andrew had to find.Also set up was the gang’s compound from which he was to venture out and purloin some goodies.Oor Andrew was given charge of a Hispanic gang which was to provide backup for his nefarious schemes and these  were to support the actions of their leader who came in the guise of a Samuel L Jackson lookalike.My force for good consisted of the aforementioned Gertrude Agnes Winklepicker backed up by the local forces of law and order complemented by another relation of Dorcas Knight,Starry Knight who proved to be worse than useless.At least she drove the police car and its inhabitants to their ultimate demise.Lurking amongst both of our groups were individuals from Blade Runner.My two were Roy and Zhora who we are led to believe witnessed a raid on a local garage.Oor Andrew’s two misfits were actually categorised as hostages and they came in the form of Pris and Leon.El Presidente had come up with a side story of all four of the miscreants become targets of the Tyrell Corporation and runners backed up by Rachel hunting them down.

The sicarios hideout.

More downtown pre action.

Not a lot doing.

Waiting on the price to rise.

     The game kicked off in the usual way with everybody jumping into their cars and heading for their objectives.Gertrude Agnes Winklepicker had said a sad farewell to her previous companion who went by the name of Jim.His replacement came in the form of Dougie who came with a terrifying snarl but little else as we found out to our dismay.My inhabited police car headed rapidly towards the garage with Starry Knight driving and Sergeant Pearly White hanging on for grim death as the car hurtled towards its destiny and a lot of bullets in the process.Gertrude tried her hardest to keep up with the police car but the drawing of a countdown card meant that Getrudes’s motor bike had stalled and she couldn’t move for a turn.

Horsing about.

Another short of the Dunsapie airport.

The forces of good and evil meet.

The heroines and heroes answer the call.

     Starry Knight  had arrived at the side of the garage just in time to be met with a hail of bullets from the bad guys.The majority of the bad guys were being driven in a large black Citroen DS straight out of Day of the Jackal and wasted no time in blasting away at my white Ford Granada.Andrew’s driver nicknamed the Chuffer produced a machine gun and proceeded to spray and aerate my newly valeted car doing away with poor Starry in the process as well as the two members of the public who had reported the disturbance at the garage who just happened to be Roy and Zhora.Sergeant Pearly was not amused and proceeded to shoot back but to no avail.

Bullets and horses**t a flying.

Dougie lurches in.

Here comes the Tyrell Investigative Corporation arrive.

This would have been Mr Ray’s gang if he hadn’t been away on a comeback tour.

      My other three members of the local constabulary had changed tack and instead of following the Granada headed towards the sound of the over revving Peugeot which was in the process of taking Samuel towards his first objective but on seeing the Peugeot reversing back towards the ensuing fracas decided again to change tack and head towards their beleaguered colleagues.It was during this exchange of gunfire a wild accusation was thrown in my direction about how I still had a lot of plot points remaining in my pool and since I wasn’t allowed to debate the point using arm wrestling I duly informed the opposition that I had used my plot points rather candidly but the sounds of derision still echoed round the room.

Dougie is still hanging on but not for long.

  Amidst all this accusation hoohaa Sergeant Pearl had replied with her revolver and scored an immediate hit on one of the sicarios sending him spinning into oblivion.This sound of gunfire and the doing away of a further two replicants who were actually hostages brought the attention of three of the remaining Tyrell Investigative Corporation who proceeded to head for Oor Andrew’s sicarios doing away with one in the process.After this deed was done they just melted into the background their part in the game over.

Bing warbles a song.

     My three remaining very special constables emerged from the side street and headed for the cover of the bullet riddled Granada.This drew them to the attention of the Samuel L Jackson lookalike and the newly arrived Foxy Loxy.Eventually joining  the fracas Gertrude sent the snarling Dougie into biting range of the Chuffer meaning she was pinned.Dougie seemed up to the task even although the evil opposition had already dealt him a wound.Wait till the Garvald S.P.C.A.get to hear about this especially as Oor Andrew is a dog owner! The Chuffer was joined in the fight by another sicario and both of them combined to do away with poor Dougie.Looks like another trip to the Cat and Dog home for Gertrude.

Gertrude hides behind the Land Rover.

       Sergeant Pearl finally gave up the ghost and went down to another cowardly sicario shot.Since Chuffer had been released from Dougie’s snarling fangs she meted out revenge courtesy of her machine gun and done away with two of my constables and inflicting a couple of wounds on poor Gertrude.Due to the vagaries of the game my lot had to perform which was basically a bottle test which they failed and Gertrude was last seen heading towards Seafield Cat and Dog home to replace Dougie.She would probably be better buying a second hand tiger.

And is finally seen heading for the Cat and Dog home.

      Once again another great game played out to the usual cat calling and accusations.All figs,scenery and scenario provided from the vault of El Presidente’s mansion.We’re still a bit underwhelmed by the new rules and we usually refer to the earlier rules for clarifications especially this time concerning more than two characters being involved in fisticuffs.

       See You All When I See You and hopefully with some solo games to bolster up my silly game playing.

      This has been a Garvald Film Studios Production.