Romulan Not So Rumble!

 Stardate-2323ish!

 Place-The Garvaldian Universe.

          “Kill all the non Romulan scum,forward men to victory!Shoot the cowering cretins!Kill them aaaagh!”These were the last recorded words of commander Sairheed before he was phasered into non-existence.

Posing for the camera.

The S.S S**tshoveler.

On the bridge.

       The transport hauler SS Shoveler was slowly meandering its way through the omega quadrant,captained by that well known n’er do well Captain Jones Caligula Balderdash-JCB for short(he likes digging big holes for himself)when it was intercepted by that the well known useless privateer Sairheed This provided the premise of tonight’s Garvald Film Studios production game of inter stellar piracy or something along these lines.

Some of the accommodation.

Plants incorporated.

Sick Bay.

Ready for the off.

        El Presidente had sent out the usual weekly summons to the Gothenburg Gamers to participate in tonight’s breathtaking game but as usual they were all conspicuous by their absence coming up with the usual excuses of whisky drinking and dog watching etc.The spaceship constructed by our dear departed friend Shug was unearthed and put to good use as the base for tonight’s game involving a skirmish between Romulans and the Federation.As you can see from the pictures a lot of painstaking work went into its construction and also the use of toys from other games to turn it into a masterpiece.El Presidente had added a few extras recently into the ship mainly the medic lab and all its paraphernalia.Our beloved Jefe had also finished the Federation and Romulan forces as well as the ubiquitous Klingons but they weren’t called upon to take part in the game.El Presidente had also constructed a flight deck for the ship and this was to be my entry point for the Romulan horde.

A few supplies.

Rachel and Decker get cosy.

The engines.

The lower hanger deck.

     My plan as all ship taking plans were to take control of the engineering room as well as the ship’s bridge.My force was split into two with the commander and his minions rushing to take the bridge whilst his mate and his squad headed for the engineering room.What could be easier!It looked as though it was going to be an easy night for the landing party as they emerged into the aircraft hangar only to be confronted by two pilots who immediately dived for cover but not before one of the pilots bit the dust-literally.The other pilot who looked an awfy lot like Boomer from another SciFI series immediately returned fire but was gunned down herself by a lingering Romulan.

“Surprise!”

My kind of barmaid.

Checking the engines.

The bad guys arrive.

          This gave Sairheed the opportunity to head into the ship’s greenhouse accompanied by his minions.The only crew in here were a couple of engineers one of whom headed for the bulkhead door to raise the alarm and the other decided to do her Horatio act and defend her plant room.Captain JCB meanwhile had heard the commotion and was heading rapidly towards the hangar and off course he had a couple of girls in tow.

Nobody in sight.

The result of a swinging toolkit.

Sairheed enters.

The captain and his floosies.

Meanwhile the Romulan mate had headed for the lift that would take him down to the engineering deck but found his way was barred by a suitcase swinging technician who done away with one of the Romulan minions.She was unceremoniously dispatched for her cheek.The technicians were then reinforced by a coffee cup swilling officer who proceeded to trade shots with the Romulans in between swigs of coffee. 

Enjoying a cup of coffee.

JCB and the redshirts.

The gardener shows them the bad guys.

Meanwhile back in the greenhouse the second technician had made it back to cover at the rear of the room and was supplemented by JCB and a trio of red shirts who had forced their way past the two female technicians.”Carry on “one of them uttered “We all know what happens to the red shirts!”Actually they didn’t do too bad for in conjunction with JCB they done away with the Romulan leader Sairheed leaving him with a throbbing sair heed.It wasn’t looking good for the Romulans and a fighting retreat was called for towards the hangar bay.

Zapped between the greenhouses.

Time to retreat.

The mate had heard the din and after finally clearing the top engineering bay,entering the bottom engineering bay and trading shots with the engineers decided to leave a couple of minions in attendance and head back to the body of the kirk.

Sorting the supplies.

      More Federation troops were now piling into the greenhouse and the Romulans were forced to beat a hasty retreat towards the hangar but even then they were being filleted by the salvos of gunfire that was hitting them.One eventually made it back and was ready to sell his life dearly when El Presidente declared that there wasn’t any point of continuing-I can cope with that!

“They’re in there!”

      This was a test run to see if it was feasible to take it to some shows next year.Only time will tell.We are repeating the game this week with hopefully some more participants but I’m sure there’ll be plenty of pitiful excuses for non appearances.

      See You All When I See You.

        This has been a Garvald Film Studios Production.

Zuge und Boote und Flugzeuge!( That’s Trains and Boats and Planes for you non Graustarkian speakers.)

 Dateline 25 September 1938ish!

Place-Somewhere in the South Seas!

Dorcas’s more famous cousin.

      Tonight’s Garvald Film Studios Monday night special found us in the South Seas where the further escapades of our gallant heroine Dorcas Knight saw her trying to outdo the dastardly attempts of  Doktor Fluffembunny to inflict his brand of terror on the unsuspecting world.This time it was to throw the seeds of destruction into the island’s volcano Mount Papa-Oom-Mow-Mow which came in the form of various unexciting artefacts.These items were located at various points of the island mainly the airport,the docks and on a train.Yes I know South Seas islands don’t have railways but what the heck.

The SS Cirrhosis of the River docks.

Dorcas Knight and her followers.

The semi evil Doktor Fluffenbunny and his retinue.

   Our brave heroine was already on the island searching for souvenirs when she got the call that Doctor Fluffembunny was also on the island looking for something a bit more serious than trinkets mainly the ingredients he needed to destroy the island and all surrounding islets.Blah Blah Blah!Dorcas dropped the beads she was pondering over and called for her trusty companions mainly Tabby Gun-Powder and Yuri Diculous who were just watching the world go by albeit with a rum in their hands.Out of the corner of her eye she saw Fluffembunny’s loyal lieutenant (sergeant actually)heading for the tramp steamer SS Cirrhosis of the River that had just arrived hoping to steal the artefact before  Dorcas  could react.

The air-conditioned airport .

Percy’s arrival mode.

Another sleepy day in Mow-Mow.

         Meanwhile on the other side of the island her trusty sidekick Percy Pencildik had just arrived off the clipper and was just checking through customs with his trusty side kicks Woods and Pussers when he learned through the jungle drums (literally)that Doktor  Fluffembunny was on the island and the bounder was up to no good.He immediately got into his stride and rushed through the building hoping to get to grips with this Teutonic ne’er do well,do away with the cad and indulge in his first Bombay gin of the day.Well the sun was over the yardarm somewhere in the world.So he checked his twin revolvers and headed for the front door.

A suspicious Graustarkian coach at the airport.

Heading to the market.

Mount Papa-Oom-Mow-Mow.

          Doktor Fluffembunny was not hanging around for idle chit chat and with two of his minions Flotsam and Jetsam in tow headed for the train which was the hiding place for another artefact.He was stopped in his tracks by the utterances of a security guard who was obviously hoping to impress his colleague with his masterly voice.This utterance brought out the wrath in Herr Doktor who replied with the uncoiling of his bullwhip and the following whiplash ended with it coiling around the smart assed security guard.Game ,set and match to the Doktor. The guards pitiful companion just whimpered and stated that he hadn’t seen a thing.The only problem the Doktor was facing were the pair of local guardian natives who were taking potshots at them from a nearby cliff.Down went one of Fluffembunny’s goons.Rage engulfed Fluffembunny at the sight of his minion Flotsam being cut down in the prime of his short evil career.This was soon leveled up by the evil Doktor shooting at the assailants with his antique pistol whilst moving quickly towards the airport building and the second artefact and doing away with his minion’s assassin.

Lizard men on the prowl.

Doktor Fluffenbunny gets out the coach.

Local taxi.

     Meanwhile Dorcas  and her companions had dived behind the cover of nearby parked cars and were trading shots with the sarge and his entourage which had been supplemented by a member of the ship’s crew Tugboat Annie,who had decided that the grass was darker on the other side.How she came to that conclusion in the docks we’ll never know. Dorcas directed her cohorts to concentrate on sarge who was trying to abscond with the loot.This succeeded with the sarge recoiling from his first wound.Actually both El Presidente and myself then realised that the wrong figure was being shot at so a quick figure substitution was made and the Teutonic bad guy had morphed into a Frenchman with a pistol.C’est la Vie!It also meant I was down one lizard headed bad guy.The sarge decided enough was enough and sprinted down the docks towards the volcano hurdling one of the bulkheads in the process.This caused Dorcas and her companions to stand away from the parked cars immediately drawing fire from sarge’s lackeys.This caused one of her companions go down in a hail of lead.Dorcas and her remaining companion Tabby Gun-Powder exacted revenge by taking out the two hoodlums on the pier.Sarge was hurtling down the street when Dorcas’s trusty companion Tabby nonchalantly walked into the street and shot him in the back.And  she was supposed to be a good guy.

“I told you there was a train.”

One of the baddies before he gets a sex change.

Swapping lead.

    Meanwhile back at the airport Percy Pencildik, the trusty companion after first putting down his duty free proceeded to take possession of the last artefact which for some reason had been placed on the luggage carousel.He drew his trusty companions to him and headed straight for the front door,(as you do)and were met by the attentions of Fraulein Schwarzerpfeffer who had just made her way there from the local street market looking to pick out a punnet of black cherries for her infamous Schwarzwalder Torte.Gun and bow fire were traded and alas poor Fraulein Schwarzerpfeffer and her sidekick went down in a not so blaze of glory.Bang goes the cake.Their actions were not so fruitless for in the process of the gunfight the two companions Woods and Pussers bit the dust.This left the igniting of the the volcano to Doktor Fluffembunny and this pickle he looked on with relish.

Flotsam goes down in the first!

Sarge morphs into Sarge but this time with a French accent.

Two blurred natives.

       Meanwhile the numbers were dwindling near the docks with Tabby the companion after first picking up the downed artefact found herself gunned down by Tugboat Annie who herself proceeded around the side of a building hoping to do away with our erstwhile star.No sooner had she arrived in a dark alley at the back of the building she was greeted by the sound of a car ignition being turned.Dorcas had thrown away all thoughts of stealing the artefact that had been unceremoniously dumped by the side of the road and was driving towards the airport building in the hope of saving her trusty companion from a fusillade of bullets.Her companion had actually dived onto the carousel to escape the bullets of Doktor Fluffembunny.

Herr Doktor taking care of business.

Percy making progress.

Dorcas and Tabby trying to stop Sarge.

    The stage was set for one last shootout when El Presidente drew a random event card which declared the game was over at the end of that turn.Realising this Dorcas took a pot shot at the Doktor whilst driving causing him to slump onto the cars fender but it was only a flesh wound and not a Monty Python one so we were left with the sight of the two stars having a South Sea standoff with her trusty companion rushing to her aid tripping over empty bottles in the process.

Tabby goes down.

So does the Fraulein.

Dorcas races ahead at 30mph.

        Will Doktor Fluffembunny finally achieve something dastardly, will Dorcas  take these driving lessons she definitely needs and  will her trusty sidekick get done for that extra bottle of Bombay?Who knows!Who cares!

Percy dives through the carousel.

Tugboat Annie about to try for a fruitless chase.

Doktor Fluffenbunny takes the hit but he’s still standing.

           A great game played out with a lot of poetic license-Trains in the South Seas indeed.This was our first run through of the new 7TV rules with a few insertions from previous versions I.e event cards.

    See You All When I See You.

       This has been a Garvald Film Studios Production.