The Hunt For Jock The Croc!

 Thursday June 22nd.

The Column 

The Croc.

And the Mummy-sounds like a bad joke.

    Finding ourselves at a bit of a loose end,El Presidente and myself decided to indulge in a serious game of 7TV involving Ancient Egyptian princesses,Adolf,Gene Hunt and Jock The Croc.Well,a bit serious.

Lady Winklepicker and the boys in blue.

Queen Nevertiti and her band of misfits.

             The game involved both sides hunting for various caches of loot one which was guarded by oor Jock.El Presidente’s forces consisted of previously mentioned Egyptian princess backed up by some of her minions (female of course)supplemented by Adolph and a few of his lackeys.My team consisted of Lady Agnes Winklepicker,head of the Tulips(The Unlady Like Internacional Pornographic Society-“We do things men just dream off!”)abeted or maybe hindered by Gene Hunt and his retinue minus Sam Tyler for some reason.

Adolph and the lackeys charge in.

Healy trying to make a name for herself.

Another success for the Aryans.

              Straight into action on my side was Heely Kawes hoping to earn some brownie points in front of Lady Winklepicker and an induction into the Tulips.This didn’t go down well for as soon as she picked up the first loot marker she was fired on by the Aryan lackeys taking a bullet wound for her troubles.This was followed up by one the lackeys taking her out permanently by cowardly charging her when she was down-Boo Hiss!Well at least she didn’t have to pay her subscription fees to the Tulips.

Queen Nevertiti doing an Adamson(skulking around).

The car park gunfight.

            Actually the rest of the game consisted of a big gunfight in the car park whilst Queen Nevertiti crept around the flying bullets looking for tasty loot bits and maybe new crocodile shoes courtesy of Jock who had other ideas mostly which sauce goes with Egyptian princesses.

Adolph goes down.

And gets up !

            It was obvious from the start of the gunfight the actual characters weren’t putting up a good showing as first Roy Carlsberg bit the dust and then Pc Annie Bananie went down.Sam will be p****d.This left the actual fisticuffs to the uniformed constables which they took to with much aplomb,ladling in to the ruffians with their truncheons,reaking revenge for their colleagues’ downfall.

An unusual confrontation.

            Meanwhile Nevertiti was skulking around the peripheries of the scrap, picking up loot caches on the way and setting her sights on Jock the Croc and her new shoes.Nevertiti’s bright yellow garb was spotted by Lady Winklepicker,’s ever alert eyes and after calling Gene to help her,headed off with Gene and her faithful mutt Jim in tow towards the crocodile pit and the inevitable last scene confrontation with the baddie.

Lady Winklepicker spies Nevertiti.

        The inevitable scrap in the car park between the local bobbies and Adolph eventually went the constabulary’s way but not before Adolph,wound and all had done some damage but not enough to stop him going down in a hail of blows from the police truncheons.

But her bodyguard runs interference.

           Jock the Croc was alerted to the sound of Nevertiti closing in on his pit and was about to set about her with his gnashers when she dazzled him with her bright yellow dress before dispatching him him with merciless cruelty,cackling as she plunged the centuries old dagger into his thrapple thinking to her self that she could also get a set of luggage out of poor Jock.

The final scene!

         Seeing this devious cruelty Lady Winklepicker doubled her efforts but found that she and her accomplices were confronted by Nevertiti’s minions barring the way to their beloved princess.Hunt went down in a salvo of arrows fired by the princess’s archer handmaidens leaving Lady Winklepicker and Jim the dog to face another of the handmaidens this time armed with a big sword.And I’m afraid this is where we left it due to the vagaries of the event cards.

     One day Lady Agnes Winklepicker will not leave us on tenterhooks about the story ending.

     My thanks to El Presidente for putting the game on at short notice.

    This has been a Garvald Film Studios Production.

Lurkers of the Garvaldian Deep-Part 3-The Army Cometh!

 Wednesday 22nd June 195ish!

  The place(or should it be the plaice) Fishtown,Ma Fisher’s rock pool-Somewhere in New England.

        

Fishtown New England.

Ma Fisher appears with her very fishy folk.

The local diner where fish and chips is definitely not on the menu.

           After the going on’s in the previous episode Ma Fisher had escaped like a salmon up a burn and was hiding out in her fisherman’s cottage enjoying a little siesta when all of a sudden the sound of diesel  engines reverberated around the misty town.Ma Fisher felt the cold chill of aprehension through her backbone and knew her safe haven had been detected and the government were trying to bait her into revealing herself and her fishy retinue.   

The All  Singing and Dancing Cultists.

C Mabutz rubs his hands with glee!

       General Strike had been given the task of netting this band of ner do wells and although thinking this was below him set out with his war weary squad to investigate the goings on in this shady backwater part of his beloved New England.Just to make sure he would be the one doing the fish frying he brought along a flamethrower only to be used if he couldn’t batter the opposition into submission.Ma Fisher was also giving sanctuary to a local cult and their leader C Mabutz who were praying for a golden haired idol to arrive and save them all from common sense.To make up the party some more of the demons of the deep were lurking with intent having done away with Inver Ness in the last episode.

General Strike with his own dancers.

Parson Snose now knows how it feels to be a roast turkey.

The very wary GI’s.

           General Strike decided to split his forces and send his troopers on a truck ride through the town whilst himself and his small squad which included Parson Snose.Straight away Parson was hit by the effect of a random card as he was hit by a puff of fiery steam and before he could yell “Holy Smoke”he was waylaid for the next turn.This gave the cultists the impetus to charge Strike and his followers and hopefully waylay them and their narrow minds.This led initially a few rounds of ineffectual gunfire before it was left to good old fisticuffs to win the day,trouble is it was Strike who won through as the only two not standing or licking their wounds were himself and Mabutz and as soon as Mabutz the bully he was,also realised it he bolted for safety.

A stramash in Main Street.

Strike and Mabutz exchange unpleasantries.

The general strikes out.

               On the other side of town the  remainder of the squad had decided to get oot the truck as they spotted some creatures from hell heading their way and also give space for the flamethrower to ply its wares especially as they didn’t want to get fried themselves.The first creature to appear looked a bit like a mutant turtle without the good points.This beast proceeded to get stuck into the G.I’s which was probably a good idea as I’m sure it didn’t like the idea of being fried.Actually the flamethrower’s attention was on the two lurkers heading their way.

Trying to manoeuvre the flamethrower without torching the truck.

The GI’s and the Fishfolk gather to worship.

The flamethrower throws flame.

Alas the flamethrower proved to be useless and didn’t stop the advances of the beasts as first the mutant turtle got stuck into the remainder of the squad,sergeant included and after a few turns started to come out on top.This gave the two lurkers the chance to close in on the flamethrower and do away with it.Meanwhile Ma Fisher had slunk away heading for yet another hidey hole.           

A lurker waits for his pal to regenerate.

The turtle lookalike.

Who proceeds to waylay the GI’s.

Another inconclusive Lurkers of the Deep episode.Hopefully short of nuking the town someone or something will come along and make Ma Fisher cash in her chips.We will have to wait and see.

               See You All When I See You!

        This has been a Garvald Film Studios Production.

Lurkers Of The Garvaldian Deep-Part 2-The G Men arrive(In dribs and drabs)

Date- Wednesday 15 June 195something.

Place-Some dingy backwater part of New England.

      Tonight’s Garvald Film Studios production was the second part of the Lurkers of the Garvaldian Deep series from a month or so back(Headless Chickens & Police Brutality)and tonight saw the introduction of Ma Fisher and her hopeful capture by the hapless G Men.We brought Kevin Costner’s character into the mix but a chocolate fire guard comes to mind.

The Green Hornet lookalike arrives sans Kato.

The Kevin Costner character Inver Ness showing the way to go!

                  Ma Fisher was ably abetted by Costco Malteser and a few ship’s crew of such.The G Men controlled by myself included Shir Shaun who was still showing signs of his entrancement of the previous episode.Also included in my cast were Green Hornet and a Damien Lewis lookalike.I’m afraid the Green Hornet came without Kato and the Black Beauty car.

Costco is snug as a bug in a rug.

“Freeze I’m Ma Fisher!Put your fins in the air!”

       The game started with my cast streaming off their boats and heading up the various gangplanks hunting for Ma Fisher.Kevin being his usual forceful self ran straight off the wharf and right across a hidden booby trap which ended up throwing him back the way he came.An auspicious start from which he never really recovered.After his get together with the booby trap he hound himself being a couple demons of f the deep which jumped on him as he tried to make his way back into the fight.This only proved to be the butt of the laughter to his erstwhile sailing companions who were treading the boards a bit more warily 

Inver Ness meets his match x 2.

       Inver  Ness first took care of one  of the demons  but alas couldn’t do away with his second assailant.This left the remainder of his crew having to spend an unlucky time trying to do away with the demons.

Shining a light on the situation.

        Meanwhile on the other wharf Green Hornet was leading the way with the Damien Lewis lookalike following close behind.Shir Shaun was still it seems still struggling with the effects from the previous game and quickly came under fire from Costco Malteser.Shir Shaun went one worse than the previous game and ended up on the floor.As Damien and the Hornet made their way offshore they were ambushed by the local Bobby who ranted and raved at them in some local fish dialect whereas the lawful duo decided to do away with this cold like flatfoot still none the wiser on what he was gabbling about.Costco brought his Mauser to bear on the not so dynamic duo but found he was outgunned and after a few shots were traded Costco went down and into receivership.

Taking Aim.

Costco is surrounded.

Whilst another two G-Men were biting the dust Ma Fisher decided to make a break for it with her spawn following hirsute but this turned out to be the wrong choice as Hornet and Damien found it too be like shooting fish in a barrel with even Ma Fisher flapping about like a freshly landed cod but due to the rules she was brought back to her fishy self by one of her cohorts and was last seen heading for the safety of the ever present mist.

Ma Fisher makes a break for it.

Ma Fisher’s shoal of fishes bite the dust.

“And she’s back up!”

As a footnote there was still a scrap going on on the other side of the table between Inver Ness’s back up crew and the fish monsters who had a trait of possible reincarnation if they rolled decent dice after their demise which not only brought them back but included a playmate just to annoy the sailors even more but the game was over as Ma Fisher had made it to safety and the G-Men were strewn all over the place licking their wounds.Join us fo another rip roaring episode of Lurkers of the Garvaldian Deep where the US Army come to the town’s rescue(maybe)with rifles and flame throwers abound.

See You All When I See You.

        This has been a Garvald Film Studios Production.

Think Like An Egyptian!

       Wednesday 8th June 196odd!

        Somewhere in the Sinai

VERSUS 

Desert.

          

Lady Gertrudes’s Meteoric Hunt!

 Dateline 26th May 195???

    The Place-Somewhere in Outer Graustark!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bad guys having a peruse of our finest machinery.

            Good Evening Ladies and Gentlemen and welcome to this evening’s thrilling Garvald Film Studios Production with an exciting adventure of Lady Gertrude Agnes Winklepicker and her gallant members of the Tulips (The Unlady Like Internacional Pornographic Society)whose motto is “We do things men just dream off!”

Ace Kipper heading into town to see the sights.

Graustark’s main airport.

The Meteor in question.

         The said ladies were called in by British Intelligence when one of our erstwhile pilots,Ace Kipper decided to land in the occupied state of Graustark intending to look in the best RAF way for the best 5Star hotel around.To which his erstwhile captors laughed at whilst dragging him,handlebar moustache and all towards the nearest Gulag informing him of its lack of stars and beds.

Holiday Snapshots from Graustark.

            Graustark is a Baltic Germanic state and as you all know has cropped up many a time in the imagination of El Presidente but was usually confined to the era of World War One with a few Freikorps games thrown in for good measure.The country was mainly populated by the fair sex due to most of the male population heading of to war and finding itself on the wrong side of a Vickers machine gun.Not much has been stated about its comings and going’s after that but its fair to say that somewhere along the line it was knocked about a bit during the replay of the First World War and eventually ended up on the wrong side when full time was called.So it finds itself being governed obviously by some benign regime opposed to anything enforced on it by outside influence blah!blah!blah!blah!

Lady Gertrude arrives on her trusty steed complete with Jim the Mutt.

Count Lederhosen delegates.

And the Garrison gather.

              Lady Gertrude,ably assisted by Telegram Samantha, her trusted confidante and her followers were tasked to recover this wonder of modern technology,save the day for Good Old Blighty and save the bullet ridden reputation of our junior service.Tasked with defeating this rabble was the  cruel and sadistic Count Otto Von Lederhosen accompanied by his favourite Leutnantin Heidi Boompsadasi and the local corrupt official Werarmi Krampnuts who in this game was armed with a Sharpened Pen.

The Tulips flower in the meadow.

The truck hits a bump and the garrison ends up temporarily in the road.

Telegram Sam ventures forth..

        The stage was set for a game of epic proportions or something along these lines so it was straight in with Lady Gertrude charging on on her souped up Triumph, another bastion of British engineering complete with her trusty mutt Jim by her side.The smile was knocked off their faces with the sudden arrival of a blast which knocked not so lucky Jim oot the sidecar fleas and all!

“Follow me girls!”

Trying to stop the truck.

“Everybody Oot!”

        On  hearing off the arrival of the Imperialistic Tulips the local garrison swung into action and loaded onto the nearest form of transport which turned out to be a bright yellow truck,who needs camouflage in Graustark, and headed towards the airfield in order to protect their latest gains.The truck trundled on towards the airfield avoiding fire from the Tulip lackeys and their puny guns.They had jumped onto the lorry that quick that they had left behind the show’s two costars who had to leg it behind them promising retribution to their mindless minions.Meanwhile the count decided that he would prefer an evening of hunting the Tulip prey rather than taking charge of the objective believing his underlings would take care of business.

Jim the Mutt charges in.

Barbuda Babs goes down.

Telegram Sam seizes the initiative.

             Lady Gertrude after first getting her precious mutt back onto the motorcycle decided to dump the bike and head on foot towards the bridge whilst the dog decided with a mind of its own to head for the canal and indulge in a swim.So much for the expensive dog obedience classes.The rest of the Tulips were slowly making their way over the hedges and through the fields towards the airfield unaware that they were being stalked by the Count. The garrison commander decided that his squad would get off the truck and defend the bridge whilst he continued on to the plane and protect it with his life or something like that. The soldiers climbed out of the truck and started firing at any Tulip which reared its head which came in the form of Telegram Sam who had made her way towards the bridge hoping to provide a one woman show but instead took a bullet wound for her troubles.The two evil costars were ambling towards the bridge when they were pounced upon by Lady Gertrude who was hoping to throw the both of them into the canal but alas all she could manage was knock Heidi  down leaving Krampnuts the chance to take a swipe at the Lady using his Sharpened Pen which proved to be useless as well as inkless.

And hits him in the chuckles-painful!

Count Lederhosen picking off the Tulips.

Lady Gertrude unsuccessfully trying to put Heidi and Krampnuts into the canal.

         The remainder of the Tulips finally arrived at the crossroads just in time to be shot at by the Count. The nearest target unlucky for her was Barbuda Babs who went down like a sack of Tatties causin the rest of the gang to dive for cover.To add insult to injury Linton Lennie the ex super spy had inherited due to the use of the random cards Telegram Sam’s wound.Not going well for the Tulips.They returned fire but the Count just laughed their pathetic attempts off.Meanwile Jim the Mutt had arrived at the other side of the canal and charged towards the plane.What he was going to do when he got there I haven’t a clue.When he reached the plane he waited for any enemy attempt to purloin the secrets.Lo and behold the yellow truck arrived and the high and mighty troop commander climbed down.Jim was off and in true doggy style heading towards the unwary commander,tongue and snot swaying in the wind.The commander spotted the mutt at the last minute and pistol whipped the poor canine stunning it.Wait till the Graustark S.P.CA. hear about this.

Krampnuts crashes into the canal.

Telegram Sam turns on Heidi!

   On seeing the turmoil her favourite mutt was going through Lady Gertrude redoubled her efforts and captured Heidi but Heidi managed to escape and headed towards Telegram Sam who had finally made it to the bridge doing away with two guards in the process and getting down to business with the third one. The remainder of the Tulips were exchanging shots with the Count but not coming out of it very well as first Whittingham Winnie went down in a hail of bullets closely followed by Florence of Gifford who succumbed leaving Linton Lennie to cover the Lady and her actions.

Finally Jim sinks the fangs in.

Heidi goes down but I’m sure they’ll kiss and make up.

        Meanwhile Jim the Mutt had recovered from his pistol whipping and was intent on some revenge by sinking his teeth into the squad commander .Whilst this duel was taking place another was happening on the bridge as Telegram Sam was having a bit girl on girl with Heidi.This gave an opportunity for Lady Gertrude to sprint towards the plane whilst everybody else was running interference.Count Lederhosen had finally realised Gertrude’s plan and forsaking  all other easy targets headed towards his main adversary.This gave Linton Len the opportunity to dispose of Krampnuts and with one shot sent Krampnuts spinning into the canal never to be seen again.Well at least till next weeks episode.

Finally the nail drops in Lederhosen’s coffin.

        The last chapter of the episode arrived and with it came a double sided victory for the Tulips with Jim finally sinking his fangs into the commander’s neck and Telegram Sam finally connecting with Heidi compliments of a roundhouse kick.Lady Gertrude had finally made it to the Meteor and was last seen clambering on it’s wing.Count Lederhosen with a final fusillade of missed gun shots,fell to his knees cursing Lady Gertrude and bemoaning his future from his superiors.

Does she or doesn’t she-Tune in whenever,

              Did Lady Gertrude escape with the Meteor,will Jim stop munching on the commander and will Telegram Sam make up with Heidi and walk hand in hand into the sunset.Who knows?Who cares?

              A great game played in the usual non serious and non sense all way which is how I love my games.Silly stories with plenty of toys!

             See You All When I See You.

                This has been a Garvald Film Studios Production.